last year one night me and my old roommates were all playing twister and mike was on the spinner and halfway through the game he kind of mumbled to himself “i sure hope im calling these right” and then everyone in the room simultaneously remembered that mike was colorblind
if you wanna understand how Europe works remember that for ages syphilis was known as ‘the French disease’ in Italy, Poland and Germany, ‘the Italian disease’ in France, ‘the Spanish disease’ in Poland, ‘the Polish disease’ in Russia, ‘the Christian disease’ or ‘the Western European disease’ in Turkey, and ‘the British disease’ in Tahiti
❝ Every bitch out here in a flower crown and some musty ass shorts, takin’ selfies. ❞
— Tyler The Creator, tweeting about Coachella (via alexusl0l
❝ I’m too impatient. I’d probably swear in a speech. As George Clooney says, “I’ve f***ed too many chicks and done too many drugs to be in politics. ❞
— Jared Leto on whether he is considering a career in politics, London Evening Standard 2014 (via bimxxx
So I learned from my friend that coconut water can be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and of course my first thought was “So, can a vampire drink coconut water?”
and of course we had this idea of these tropical vampires being horrified when these old world vampires come and are still drinking blood like some sort of monster.
I’ve recently decided to freeze myself to -273℃. My friends think I’ll die, but I’ll be 0K.
Wonder how many people reblogged this without getting the joke